BoB Character Profiles: Alicia May

Alicia is the first human we’ll be talking about, and she’s our hero. She’s a 28 year old from Colorado who joined the Marines shortly out of high school. She knew what she was getting into with the reputation that women Marines have, but she earned her spot in Ordnance and took no bullshit. (Even being told she couldn’t count above three.) She’s been to Afghanistan and back again, and she keeps on going, always ready for whatever comes her way.


Alicia on any given morning.

Her problems started when she was home on leave, and she met a handsome stranger in a bar. She liked his drawl and his sexy/mysterious scars, and she was soon to be shipped out again, so she let him take her back to his motel. Since it was Sam (of course it was Sam), he brutalized her so badly that she had to have plates in her legs and left her to bleed out in his motel room. This really shook her up, for obvious reasons, and she was discharged from the Marines due to her extensive injuries and fragile mental state.

That’s when the Wolfjäger found her. The clandestine werewolf-hunting organization was trying to get a foothold in the US, and trying to find Sam led them to one of his few survivors. Despite her slow mental recovery, Lukas Reiniger thought she’d make a good recruit. Once she was convinced that werewolves were actually real and this German dude wasn’t completely crazy, she agreed to join up and hunt down the Beast of Birmingham.

She’s got no time for bureaucracy, and she’s found herself part of an organization that’s made up of very little else, so she’s frequently frustrated. She’s a do or die kind of girl, and she can’t stand to be bogged down by silly things like waiting around for orders. Things don’t always go according to plan, and Alicia always says what’s on her mind, even if she’s mouthing off to one of her superiors.


She’s lost some decorum since her Marine days.

She’s an All-American girl bunked up with a bunch of Europeans who don’t understand the importance and ritual of a good stake out. In fact, her partner Lukas might be the worst possible person she could have been paired up with, since he’s the picture of stoicism.


More donuts and Red Bull for me.

She sees the trouble the werewolves cause, and she’s glad to be a Wolfjäger if it means keeping people safe from them, but she’s never going to be happy until she can corner Sam and put a bullet in his heart. She wants nothing more than to be able to face him and make sure he knows that leaving her alive was the worst mistake he ever made.


Top Five Friday: Character Types

Everybody has a type. That one (or in this case, five) type of person who they can’t help falling for. I freely admit that mine tend to fall into the same category; it’s pretty much a guarantee that I’m going to like the one who’s kind of a dick. Most of these are villains. Shocking, I know. I do have a few variants, though! Anyway, here goes!

Anime Glasses Guy

Japan is really helpful about making sure you know what a character is like at first glance.


I can tell you immediately which of these guys I’m going to like, because I can tell what kind of person they are just by their character design. The short one is going to be bubbly and cute, the tallest/biggest one is going to be quiet, and the one with glasses is going to smart and reserved and/or cold. I like that one. I haven’t even seen more than bits and pieces of Cute Earth Defense Club Love, and FFXV isn’t out yet, but I can already tell you which character is going to be my favorite. It’s the dick in the glasses.

The Scholar


Sometimes this overlaps a little with Anime Glasses Guy, but they’re not always the same kind of person. The Scholar comes in a few flavors: the scatterbrained hermit, usually some sort of mage in a tower type; the I-Don’t-Understand-Human-Emotion scientist who pushes the boundaries of ethics; the soft-spoken one who likes books better than people…there are definitely more. I like all of them.

Tough Guy with a Gooey Inside


I have such a crush on this dude it’s not even funny. The characters who are stoic and deadly but have a soft, gentle side always get me. Even better if it’s just for that one special person who they let see inside. Illya is a particularly good example because he not only has a soft spot, he gets downright nervous, and that is just adorable. Raphael from the Ninja Turtles is another example of this. He’s brash and distant, but when it comes to April, he softens up just a little and always makes sure she’s safe.

The Posh, Ruthless One


The word “unrepentant” also comes to mind here. Hans Landa was a complete and utter bastard, and Christ, did I love him. Sure, he’s a Nazi, and that’s not okay, but as a character, he’s perfect. Hannibal Lecter also belongs in this list. I love a guy who will tear your guts open and then complain that you got blood on his shirt. That’s my type. Honestly, I wanted to put a picture here of Rainer, from Michelle Kay’s upcoming werewolf-dystopian novel, but IT’S NOT OUT YET. WHY. He’s awful and amazing and I’m super jealous that he’s not mine. Keep a lookout for him.

The Lovable Rogue


Artwork by Viktopia.

Everybody loves a smartass thief, right? There are infinite examples of this type. Han Solo, Flynn Rider, Malcolm Reynolds, Peter Quill, and, of course, Zevran Arainai. Zevran has literally been hired to kill you when you first meet him, and in the ten-minute conversation you have with him bound and at your mercy, he convinced me to not only allow him to live, but to let him join my party and sleep with me. And he actually sticks by you! He’s the best! (I mean, he doesn’t have to, because it’s Dragon Age, but if he doesn’t, it’s because you treated him like shit.) Anyway, I love a cheeky bastard, and he’s one of the cheekiest and bastardiest.

Let me know who you like! What type makes you swoon, either with love or envy?

BoB Character Profiles: Marcia Grey

Marcy really didn’t ask for any of this. She’s just a Pre-Law college student from a wealthy family with a bit of a penchant for self-righteous rants. She grew up in a happy family with two younger sisters that she loves, and she keeps in touch with them while she does her undergrad work in Atlanta. She’s out to save the world with her Law degree–everything from indigent criminals to pollution. She’s a bit confused about how exactly she’s going to fix the world’s problems, but her heart’s in the right place. All in all, she’s a pretty standard picture of an upper-class white girl with a cause.


Practicing for her magazine covers.

As he usually is, Sam is the source of her problems. Marcy happened to be in the way when he decided to go for a late night run with David, and she nearly had her arm torn out because Sam was just too excited not to chase down and eat a young woman. It was only because David stopped him that she survived at all, but now she had an even bigger problem–she’d been bitten by a werewolf.

David took care of her while she recovered, and before she knew what was happening, she found herself run out of town because Sam was in trouble with the police, and she had no better option than to follow around the only two guys who could help her adjust to her new lifestyle.


Staying on her own wasn’t exactly an option.

She got into much more trouble than she bargained for by sticking with Sam and David, but she took to the werewolf idea with surprising grace. Turns out it’s not always such a bad thing to be told you’re going to turn into a giant monster once a month, if that also means you’re going to be stronger, faster, and better in just about every way.


Not the response Sam expected.

Becoming a werewolf can do funny things to a person, and Marcy isn’t always the sweet and happy girl she used to be. She’s learning to enjoy her new life, even if David is around every corner reminding her not to go down Sam’s road.

BoB Character Profiles: Adam Weiss

Adam is, in some ways, a bigger jerk than Sam. With Sam, you know what you’re getting just by looking at him–he’s dirty, he has a thick drawl, and you just know that he’s going to be trouble. Adam is his opposite in every way.

He was born in 1881 in New York to German immigrant parents. He comes from a long line of werewolves making up a huge family based in Ingolstadt. By tradition, the Weiss family does not have children before they’re turned. Being a pregnant werewolf is very risky, since you can’t avoid your entire body changing around once a month. Miscarriages and stillbirths are extremely common. Because of this, the Weiss family believes that since every one of their children for hundreds of years has been born to a werewolf woman, they’re getting only the strongest and best of the potential babies. Adam is the first (and as of now, only) Weiss to be born in America.

When war was coming in 1917, he married a very nice girl named Nina, which allowed him to avoid the draft due to a to “dependent spouse with insufficient family income if drafted.” He celebrated the end of the war by getting divorced from her on charges of adultery. What a happy coincidence!

During Prohibition, he revealed his true nature to Ignacio Esposito, a crime boss in New York, and he made a very good living for 13 years bootlegging up and down the country with Sam and David. When booze became legal again, he stayed on with the Esposito family as an enforcer and continued to make oodles of money, which he carefully tucked away and invested like a smart lad. Now he has buttloads of money, an apartment overlooking Central Park, a few nice cars, and he practically owns Ingolstadt.


How much money does God have? I bet he doesn’t have any Cheval Blanc 1947.

Adam is very charming and polite on the surface, but the truth is that he’s absolutely ruthless. He considers Sam and old friend, but that doesn’t mean that he’s above using him as a piece on his game board. He’s a master puppeteer who likes to portray himself as more gentle and sophisticated than he really is. No matter how he tries to hide it, there’s a monster under the expensive suit.


That’s a very nice Chardonnay you’re not drinking.

He’s put Sam up more than once when he’s come to call, and he doesn’t mind the trouble he brings nearly as much as David does–mostly because he has the money to pay off anyone who might bring the trouble back to his doorstep. With connections to the mafia, he isn’t very afraid of the police, either. He might act polite, but he doesn’t mind in the slightest if some homeless guy in Central Park doesn’t make it through the night when Sam comes to visit. He’s got more than a little of the “I’m wealthy so I can get away with anything” complex, and he’s mostly right.

He’s ambitious as hell, and he’s not going to be happy until his world is exactly the way he wants it.


Top Five Friday: Character Pairings

We all do it. Sometimes you feel like all the signs are there, that two characters are clearly meant for each other, or they’re totally already a thing and just won’t admit it. Sometimes most people agree with you, and sometimes you just seem like the lecherous straw-grasper you know you are.

Ship's captain

Stand proud.

Okay, here we go. In ascending order of importance. (Don’t forget to check Lindsay, K.M., and J.S. too!)

5. Jack Frost and Pitch Black


Artwork by tometo.

I felt like Pitch got a super bum deal in this movie. I mean, he and Jack literally have the exact same problem, but somehow Pitch is the villain because the thing that makes kids believe in him is being afraid? That’s some bullshit. I want Jack to go dark side.

I also would have accepted Jack and Elsa, because, come on, super cute.

4. Percy Jackson and Jason Grace


I don’t really have much of an excuse for this one. They’re just so bro-y, and the way they snipe at each other is perfect. I can also get behind adding a spoopy little goth kid into the mix, ifyouknowwhatI’msayin. I don’t know that there’s actually a ton of evidence for this, but I want it anyway.

3. Batman and Catwoman


This shit is meant to be. I know Lindsay is including Batman and Wonder Woman on her list, and I can get behind that too, but Batman and Catwoman understand each other. She’s one of the few villains in Batman’s Rogues Gallery that isn’t really that much of a threat, supervillain-wise. She’s a thief, but how much does Batman really care about burglaries when he has people like The Joker and Scarecrow to deal with–people who regularly try to blow up buildings, infect the whole city with poison, and other ridiculous shit? Not to mention the kind of crap he deals with when he’s with the Justice League. Chasing Catwoman probably feels like a vacation for him, and it’s definitely a game to her.

Most importantly, I think, Catwoman is from Gotham, too. I don’t think Bats will ever really connect with someone who doesn’t know his city like he does.

2. Varric Tethras and Cassandra Pentaghast


I really wanted this to happen if you didn’t romance Cassandra. They fight, and Cassandra does a [disgusted noise] at him fairly frequently, but they would be so cute. Going by how many times Varric asks the Inquisitor if Cassandra is still mad, or how she’s doing, he clearly cares what she thinks of him. And Cassandra loves his books, so she obviously knows that despite his rugged outside, Varric is a very kind person with a poet’s heart, which I think is exactly what she wants. I think they have the potential to get along very well, and I think that, given the chance, Varric would absolutely love the opportunity to sweep the lady Seeker off her feet, if only to see her blush.

Also, I think Bioware just doesn’t want you to be able to romance dwarves. (WHERE’S THAT DRINK SCOUT HARDING PROMISED ME, BIOWARE?!)

1. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black


Artwork by Hanaoka.

Okay, if you didn’t know this was going to be my number one, we’ve probably never spoken in depth. I haven’t read Harry Potter in a few years, so I’m not going to go into actual quotes or anything, but pretty much the entire climax of The Prisoner of Azkaban. COME ON. All through the books, Remus is the only one who can get Sirius to get his shit right and play nice. There is so much of them staring at each other, exchanging looks, speaking as a unit when the Order is meeting. Also, let’s mention that Remus is living with Sirius throughout Order of the Phoenix, and not because “the Order told him to” or “Lupin’s broke af and doesn’t have anywhere else to live.” No explanation given except that he’s staying with Sirius. They even give Harry a joint Christmas gift, for fuck’s sake. Also worth mentioning that Remus is pretty much brow-beaten into marrying Tonks, and then is patently miserable for the remainder of the series–until he shows up as a ghost, WITH SIRIUS. I don’t know if JKR meant for this to be a thing and didn’t want to say so, or if she just didn’t realize what she was doing (which seems unlikely, knowing her), or what, but she absolutely treats them as a pair whenever they’re together. Can you tell I’ve had this conversation before?

And in addition to the actual evidence, they’re just adorable. Everyone knows it. “Embraced like brothers,” my ass.


Vampire Hunter D and Left Hand


I mean…c’mon. It’s his hand. It’s happened. We might not want to talk about it, but it’s happened.